Though I can’t distinctly recall how it all started, my initial curiosity has transformed into a profound responsibility, joy, passion, and a cherished dream.
Entering a competition after a long time, I felt an overwhelming, electrifying happiness on stage which used to be filled with childhood fears. It’s more than just playing my music; it’s a lesson in truly listening to others, even in the most intense moments of performance. I’ve learned more than just stage experience; I’ve learned that I should be a person who listens, engages, and adjusts together, whether the circumstances are joyful or sorrowful. I’ve learned that I want to be someone who lives not solely for myself but for others, someone who knows how to live for the sake of others and is willing to let go of myself. Not entirely sure if I can really become the one, but this is my true wish.
Although my best friend is an opera singer, my interest in vocal music was initially limited to admiration and support. My journey into collaboration with singers started in Germany, where I learned “Swanengesang” and “Morgen” for the first time. As I returned to the States, my curiosity started to unfold studying with Jeremy. Observing the gestures of vocalists and playing various arias and art songs in Jeremy’s lessons led me to a realm of emotions I hadn’t encountered before. I still can’t explain them in my words. Jeremy didn’t just teach me about music; he imparted the essence of living for others, being sensitive, attentive, and sacrificing for their sake. Collaborating with singers allowed me to find joy and freedom in contributing my essence to their voices. It’s truly captivating to hear the beginning and end of their breath, turning every moment of anticipation into something extraordinary. Initially uncertain about my role, I found myself caught up in the busyness of following and waiting, and I struggled quite a bit. Then he taught me the precise role and meaningful mission of a pianist. The journey ahead still feels like quite a stretch. I owe a big thanks to Jeremy for always being interested and tirelessly helping me, especially when my curiosity, which I couldn’t quite put into words due to a lack of experience with singers, needed a boost. If it weren’t for being assigned in Jeremy’s studio in my first year, who knows, my curiosity might have just vanished into thin air.
Encountering Eunsung in my first year, I could never have imagined the profound experiences we would share, starting with Brahms and continuing this journey together. In it, I’ve discovered a big amount of joy. As someone too prone to emotional sensitivity, my perpetual worries sometimes wear on those around me. Eunsung’s silent reassurance, encapsulated in the phrase “….. hmm….. it’s okay. Just enjoy it,” left me feeling profoundly grateful for his unwavering understanding, respect, and patience. After the competition ended, I had a proper conversation with Eunsung for the first time. He’s truly a kind and sincere person with a wonderfully humble heart, and I am grateful to have faced challenges alongside such a well grounded friend like him. I ll always be rooting for Eunsung’s and his family’s life vision and his dreams in the world of music.
Strolling through Central Park yesterday, I couldn’t help but look forward to where God might lead me whether it’s good or bad. Life’s full of surprises, and things don’t always go as planned, but the priceless experiences gathered while waiting feel like little treasures. Whether on stage or in everyday life at Stony Brook, I ponder over my purpose, going back with a heart brimming with gratitude. A newfound realization has dawned upon the once extremely self-centered me, who always cherished solitude: Loneliness becomes a precious gift and privilege when you learn to truly love and embrace others. My resolution (or mission?) becomes clearer and stronger– to live not only for myself but to warmly embrace, love, and genuinely appreciate others.
musicthattouchesyoursoul 