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After wandering, questioning and being butchered for months, i finally have decided to come back or have broken down to come for a refuge that my desire is to love music and serve people with heart of love and sincerity. No more growth of blame in heart. No more closed eyes and broken heart.

The process of continuosly thinking has brought me to the point where I started to grow enmity towards my beloved ones. Never stopped blaming on my parents being over protected of me. not true. never the true. I let darkness to veil over my eyes to see the true love of my parents. As I look back on my yesterdays, all I can do here in my room alone is to repeat “sorry.”

While I was lost, veiled, and angry all the time, one thing never changed, their love. Their hearts.

Tonight, i am reminded of an unending love of Him that I am always loved. Whoever I am to whomever. Whatever I do for what so ever. He loves me. And I see His pouring love and warmth when my daddy’s calling me “my dearest baby” and my mommy’s calling me “my precious one.”

Thank you for standing here and waiting for me for the whole time. Even when I tried to run away from you, you were here with your arm widely opened. And now I am back to you dirty, but ready to be cleaned up with your overflowing love. It is shameful. Probably never forgivable. But I know. For sure. that you are forgiving and still loving my tear and dirt. I commit once again to grow in your love. Though still long way to arrive. I am already here, in your loving arm.